c-section without being there to physically
check? I was sooo angry, but then I thought it
was just raging hormones. Back to the
delivery. Like I said, I was sooo exhausted
because this baby's head was in my groin and his feet
were tucked under my ribcage, which he had ended up
cracking. My skin from my belly to my ankles
felt so hard and stiff like if it stretched any
further, I was going to explode. I didn't just
waddle with Kyle I sashayed like a drunk coming out
of a bar because the pain in my legs was so intense I
kept losing my balance. The doctor didn't seem
to even hear me when I would tell him this plus I was
having contractions (not your plain Braxton Hicks)
actual contractions which started in my 5th month of
pregnancy. They just never became regular
enough to push the baby out sooner and because I have
a very strong cervix. The doctor had told me to
let him know if I continued having these kind of
contractions again. I did nothing but tell him
for the 4 months preceding, but he never acknowledged
it and I never saw him write it down. I was
admitted into a testing room on October 11, 1989
because all the labor and delivery rooms were
full. They hooked me up to a non-stress fetal
monitor, a regular fetal monitor, and started the
pitocin drip. I had pleaded with the doctor,
that if there was that first problem, to take the
baby c-section. Again, he didn't seem to
acknowledge this (on paper that is). He came to
tell us that the LDR was full and if I would care to
go home and wait it out. We said, no way...we
had already been to the ER twice and nothing was
happening then and I was already 2 1/2 weeks late so
if nothing was going to happen then, what makes him
think it would happen now. We said no, we
weren't leaving without a baby in our arms. My
husband had already rearranged his work schedule
three times because the doctor said any day, any
day. We stayed and said we would stay in the
testing room if that's what we would have to
do. The doctor went ahead and broke my water
(nothing but a trickle came out)..like I just went
tinkle (not actual gush like Leslie's was). I
started to panic, because prior to this I told the
doctor that I was leaking and bad for the last 2
weeks, I was changing my underpants 4 times a day,
but he said that was probably due to the pressure on
my bladder. I told him it didn't seem like it
cuz I would have had to sit on the toilet a lot,
which isn't what I did at all. He also said
that they tested my underpants the last time I was
in. I just responded back, just like he always
did with a "Whatever." It was as if
this doctor didn't give a care in the world whether
we, the baby and I, were feeling alright. He
never told me what I should do about the skin
stretching pain, or why my feet came out from
underneath me, or why I wouldn't stop having all
those infections and did nothing to stop all those
earlier contractions.. If I didn't need him to
deliver this baby, I would have been more than glad
to stay home and do it myself. When I look back
on all this, sometimes I wish I had stayed, cuz I
wouldn't have needed the pit and I wouldn't have had
to depend on this very unprofessional doctor.
Later I would have found out that what I had during
this pregnancy was a chemical embalance which could
have been controlled with medication and I wouldn't
have had to take all those other prescriptions
because I wouldn't have had all those infections with
this type of medication.
To make a long story shorter, I went through another
10 hours of labor (with the doctor at home making his
judgments of my progress over the telephone).
There were 6 calls made by the nurses to his home and
he still didn't come to the hospital til the 7th call
was made. During those other calls, the return
response was to up the pit...but at one point I was
so dillusional with pain (which the doctor refused to
give me any more epidural after the last few lost
their effect), the nurse decided to make the call and
turn the pit off to give my uterus a break as the
amount they were giving me was not getting the cervix
to dialate, only making my uterus hypertensive.
I was 8 cm dilated for 5 1/2 hours. When the
doctor came to the hospital, I remember as if it were
yesterday, he said, "Let's get this show on the
road, every one wants to go home." What a
thing to say to someone who was at the mercy of his
hands. I was at the point that I just wanted this
baby out of me so I could sleep peacefully, which I
hadn' been able to do much of the last 4 months.
At another point during the labor, I remember a nurse
sitting beside me and never leaving the room.
When I noticed that there wasn't a heartbeat on the
monitor, she turned the monitor away from me and
wouldn't answer my questions as to what was wrong.
The doctor had turned the pit up to full blast and at
that very moment, Matt could hear my whole back crack
and I could feel it. It felt as if the baby was
slammed into my pelvic bone because I blacked
out. Later we would also find out that they had
lost me twice on the table during the labor while the
doctor stayed at home and gave phone orders.
After I reached 10 cm, it was time to push, but no
amount of pushing would get him to budge, so the
doctor had to use forceps. He was able to get
the head out, but nothing much more til the next
contractions. Still he couldn't remove my baby
without having to put his hands inside me and turn
him so he could come out sideways, still he wouldn't
come out, so the doctor had to cut me from vagina to
rectum, almost cutting my sphincter muscle.
Once the baby was completely out, I looked down and
saw a very blue, non-crying and non responding
baby. It was like going from complete joy to
complete devastation in less than 30 seconds.
Kyle would not breathe on his own until 20 minutes
after
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Graphic set on this page was made by Kyle's Mommy and
should not be taken without permission as it was made
just for the Memory of Kyle!
